PS: This is a work of fiction...Ressemblance to any one dead or alive is coincidental..
I was pretty angry with Naina becoz of the way she was behaving since the last few months...Picking up unnecessary fights and then apologizing for the same...Feeling extremely insecure for no reason...Asking me endless questions...
Day by day things were becoming worse...I could understand that she was having a tough time in her professional life. Moreover being in a long distance relationship is not a cake walk but that doesnt mean that she brings out everything on me...
She was not the same Naina with whom I fell in love three years back...
Yesterday night also we had a big fight...The reason for which was that I forgot to call her up...Common when you are miles apart its not possible to call everyday...If she is not able to understand things as simple as this I doubt what will happen to our future life...
I have had enough...I needed a break very badly...I needed a break from her...With all these thoughts in my mind, I took out my car keys and decided to go to LA for the weekend. As I was about to lock the door, I saw Naina's name flashing on my mobile screen...
No...Not this time...I dint want another fight...
I threw my mobile on the bed and locked the door...I could hear the cell ringing for sometime and then the sound went off...I too started my journey to LA...
The weekend was simply awesome...I met my old friend who stayed in LA...we had hell lot of fun...We went to a nearby pub...boozed like anything...It brought back memories of my singlehood days...It eased all my pressures...
It was a much needed break...I enjoyed like anything...No phone calls...no constant nagging...complete freedom...
My journey back to Detroit was very tiresome...A major accident had taken place nearby because of which I had to take another route...On my way back I dont know why but I started missing Naina a lot...my Naina...the complete chatterbox...the very jovial...friendly...ever smiling Naina...Deep inside I knew, I myself to a very large extent was responsible for her current state...I knew I was never able to fulfill my promises...But I had my own reasons which she was just not ready to listen to...
I reached Detroit late sunday night...Was feeling very tired...checked my mobile...there were around 16 voice mails...
"Hi Prat...I am sorry...I shudnt have reacted the way I did last night...But I actually expected ur call d other day...U remember it was 9th of Dec...yeah..the very day when u proposed to me and said Naina no matter what I will always be there for u..always...
As soon as I heard those words...I just dint know how to react...what to say...I felt so small...
I dialed naina's numb...but she dint pick...
I know she must have felt so bad...There had not been a single instance when she had missed my call..whether it be 4 in the morning...she was always there to listen to me...But I was not thr for her...
My own words were echoing in my mind..."Naina no matter what I will always be there for u..always..."
I dialed her number one more time but she dint pick...She must have been very angry with me...But dont I know my Naina...she is like a child...May b she is angry with me but I m sure her anger wont last long...when her anger subsides she herself
will gimme a call and then I will apologize to her...With this thought I went to sleep...
But Naina dint call for the next 3 days...I was getting worried now...She had never done this before...I dint know many of her friends..as such there was no use calling them...Her parents never liked me...Again I cudnt have called them...
But then when Naina's call dint come for the next 4 days..I gathered the courage to talk to her parents..
"Sir, Is Naina at home?"
"Prateek, is this you?"
"sir.........."
"No need to answer...Naina doesnt want to talk to you anymore...Finally she realized her mistake...and has decided to move on..
So it will b very nice if you dont try to talk to her henceforth"
I dint know what to do or say...I just wanted to talk to her once and I knew things will fall to its place...I always took her for granted...Never understood what she meant to me...since she was always thr..I never really realized her importance..but today I know...when she is not thr...
Three months passed after that...I tried all means of getting in touch with her..but all went in vain...I too became used to life without her...But I definately missed her...missed her a lot...
Then suddenly one fine morning I received a mail from NAINA...
It said"
Hiii Prat,
I know u must be surprised..but life is full of surprises...
Never ever in my dream had I thought that after almost 4 yrs...this is where we both will stand...stand as STRANGERS...who knew each other...Newaz I just wanted you to know that I have finally decided to get married...
attached is my wedding invitation...If possible be a part of it..
Prat, you have been the most important person in my life..and thats why I wanted you to be a part of my special day...
Today I forgive you for all that u had done...coz thats d only way I can let go off the dream we both saw...let go off the future where we both lived happily ever after...let go that part of me...that will love you for ever...
for the last time...
Yours,
Naina...
I knew it was all over...Tears were rolling down my cheecks..
If only I had picked that call...things might have been different...If only...If only..
In our life as well..one moment and all is gone...why is that we realize the importance of our loved ones...only after they are gone...why do we keep on taking them for granted...why cant we love them when they are there with us...
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Random Scriblings
I once again dont know how to unleash my feelings infront of you...
The words have again started to seem so few...
It feels it has been ages since I have known you..
So much has changed since then between me and you...
I say you have changed...
You say I have changed...
I say you dont have time for me...
You say when will you understand me...
I say you dont love me anymore...
You say I am too possessive and insecure...
We have started fighting almost every alternate day...
Where has our paradise gone away...
I dont know whats the reason for all this...
Distance,time,insecurity,me,you...I dont know what it is...
I just want things between us to be the way it used to be...
Because I doubt you know the extent to which all this hurts me...
No matter what I say...how often I fight...I want you to know...
At the end of every fight,I end up hating myself and loving you more...
The words have again started to seem so few...
It feels it has been ages since I have known you..
So much has changed since then between me and you...
I say you have changed...
You say I have changed...
I say you dont have time for me...
You say when will you understand me...
I say you dont love me anymore...
You say I am too possessive and insecure...
We have started fighting almost every alternate day...
Where has our paradise gone away...
I dont know whats the reason for all this...
Distance,time,insecurity,me,you...I dont know what it is...
I just want things between us to be the way it used to be...
Because I doubt you know the extent to which all this hurts me...
No matter what I say...how often I fight...I want you to know...
At the end of every fight,I end up hating myself and loving you more...
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Not Again
Beep--beep--beep...
It was the fourth time ananya's call went unanswered...She was very worried...
Why is Saurav not picking up her calls...??
Is he too busy to even answer her calls...??
or is he purposely not picking her calls...??
He dint even reply back to her message...No matter how angry he was with her, he never missed any of her calls...
What could have possibly happened...?? Is he fine ??
All these thoughts were lingering in her mind...when she suddenly got reminded that she has a meeting with her client...She put her cell on silent mode and went inside the conference room..
Everything was not going well in Ananya's & Saurav relationship...Their's was a long distance relationship...
Somehow they always manged to maintain that emotional connection...It seemed nothing absolutely nothing
could come between them...whether it be time..distance or whatever...
But off late things were changing...With each passing day Saurav was becoming busier.. He didnt have time to
reply back to her mails...which once used to be his neccessity...His day never used to start without reading
Ananya's mails...But now he just dint have the time...
There was a time when they used to chat for hours...But now he had so many other things to do...
Earlier phone calls meant so much but now they were just a medium of letting out each other's frustration & anger...
Ananya just kept on wondering where has that person gone who used to love her so much...for whom Ananya was everything...
She missed that person like anything...
Ananya came out of the meeting...It was already 3:30pm....She checked her cell...There were no calls from Saurav...
She knew that she wud not get any call now as it was already 4 am there in US...he must have already gone to sleep...
She suddenly got reminded of the day when Saurav had given her a call at 4:30 in the morning...just to tell her that
he loves her very much and misses her a lot....A drop of tear rolled down her cheek but she somehow controlled herself
becoz she was there in office...and she shudnt let her personal life interfere with her professional one...
The last one week had been very tough for her...Saurav was to come back to India...She had so many plans in her mind...
Ananya thought all her agony, pain will finally come to an end...He promised her that he will spend the christmas
holidays with her....but then just hrs before his flight he gave her a call and told that his plans has changed...He is moving
to Dallas for a new assignment...
Ananya was left completely blank...She dint know how to react...what to do...All this was getting above her head...The last conversation they had was very bad...She called him selfish...mean...all possible things on earth...He just kept on listening...He said he understands her situation but at times even she should try to understand him...He had his own reasons for accepting the offer...
Ananya was too angry to listen to all this...She just told him that I am giving you another 15 days...U come back or its over...
Saurav as usual dint say anything...he kept quiet as always...
Ananya went back home...The entire day she just kept on glancing at her cell phone...She was worried...She was angry...
and then the next morning she got the much awaited phone call....
"Stupid, why didnt u call me?? I called u,God knows how many times...Dont u know how much worried I was"
" Relax...Relax..Relax...I forgot my cell in office....Just look at you... and u say u r going to leave me after 15 days..
You cant even do a day without this selfish, mean person "
Ananya was crying like anything...She somehow was not able to hold back her tears...
" Baby...We have come this far...just a few more days..and things will be absolutely fine...trust me..."
And she trusted him one more time...
It was the fourth time ananya's call went unanswered...She was very worried...
Why is Saurav not picking up her calls...??
Is he too busy to even answer her calls...??
or is he purposely not picking her calls...??
He dint even reply back to her message...No matter how angry he was with her, he never missed any of her calls...
What could have possibly happened...?? Is he fine ??
All these thoughts were lingering in her mind...when she suddenly got reminded that she has a meeting with her client...She put her cell on silent mode and went inside the conference room..
Everything was not going well in Ananya's & Saurav relationship...Their's was a long distance relationship...
Somehow they always manged to maintain that emotional connection...It seemed nothing absolutely nothing
could come between them...whether it be time..distance or whatever...
But off late things were changing...With each passing day Saurav was becoming busier.. He didnt have time to
reply back to her mails...which once used to be his neccessity...His day never used to start without reading
Ananya's mails...But now he just dint have the time...
There was a time when they used to chat for hours...But now he had so many other things to do...
Earlier phone calls meant so much but now they were just a medium of letting out each other's frustration & anger...
Ananya just kept on wondering where has that person gone who used to love her so much...for whom Ananya was everything...
She missed that person like anything...
Ananya came out of the meeting...It was already 3:30pm....She checked her cell...There were no calls from Saurav...
She knew that she wud not get any call now as it was already 4 am there in US...he must have already gone to sleep...
She suddenly got reminded of the day when Saurav had given her a call at 4:30 in the morning...just to tell her that
he loves her very much and misses her a lot....A drop of tear rolled down her cheek but she somehow controlled herself
becoz she was there in office...and she shudnt let her personal life interfere with her professional one...
The last one week had been very tough for her...Saurav was to come back to India...She had so many plans in her mind...
Ananya thought all her agony, pain will finally come to an end...He promised her that he will spend the christmas
holidays with her....but then just hrs before his flight he gave her a call and told that his plans has changed...He is moving
to Dallas for a new assignment...
Ananya was left completely blank...She dint know how to react...what to do...All this was getting above her head...The last conversation they had was very bad...She called him selfish...mean...all possible things on earth...He just kept on listening...He said he understands her situation but at times even she should try to understand him...He had his own reasons for accepting the offer...
Ananya was too angry to listen to all this...She just told him that I am giving you another 15 days...U come back or its over...
Saurav as usual dint say anything...he kept quiet as always...
Ananya went back home...The entire day she just kept on glancing at her cell phone...She was worried...She was angry...
and then the next morning she got the much awaited phone call....
"Stupid, why didnt u call me?? I called u,God knows how many times...Dont u know how much worried I was"
" Relax...Relax..Relax...I forgot my cell in office....Just look at you... and u say u r going to leave me after 15 days..
You cant even do a day without this selfish, mean person "
Ananya was crying like anything...She somehow was not able to hold back her tears...
" Baby...We have come this far...just a few more days..and things will be absolutely fine...trust me..."
And she trusted him one more time...
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